As I started my blog in January, I was not sure, in which direction my journey of writing would take me. At the beginning, all I wanted was to find a way to relieve my pain, I wanted to clear my mind.
So, I decided to write the pain out of my soul. I write a german blog, because I guess it`s much easier to express my feelings, my thoughts, my fears in my mother tongue. But for once I will leave my comfort zone by trying to let my thoughts run free in English, because I want my voice to be heard all over the world. My family is very international, we are separated by many kilometres, by different time zones, different mother tongues, but in our hearts, we are deeply connected. So, my lovely cousin, this blogpost is for you!
We had a public holiday several days ago. It`s called All Saints’ Day (also known as All Hallows’ Day/ Hallowmas) and it`s a Christian festival celebrated in honor of all the saints. In Austria, it is celebrated on 1st November. It is a long tradition that families meet to visit their decedents at the cemetery, adorning their gravestones with flowers and grave lights. This is nothing unusual, it`s a normal thing, but what was unusual, we also visited the grave of my mother. It was a strange feeling, because (Thank God!) my mother is still alive. It`s not easy to express my emotions, my thoughts which I had at that moment. To be honest, I couldn’t manage to organize my feelings at that moment.
A cemetery is a place of devotion, a place of sharing, of quietness and memories. It is a pastoral, peaceful and beautiful place, but also frightening and cruel. It is a place where everything ends, like the end of a story, like the last page of a book. A book of love & loneliness, a book of ups & downs, a book of success & failure, a book of youth & old age. But why do we have such a problem with dying? Why are most people in the world are afraid of the death, although we know that there is no way out? Death is unavoidable, irrespective of being rich or poor, or being famous or unknown. Nothing is more certain than death, that’s a fact. After all, sooner or later when we remember the dead, we must face our own dying…
Nevertheless, we should differentiate between releasing the past and fighting for the future. My mother, thank GOD, is still alive and as long as she is here on earth, I will always fight for her!
#fcukcancer